With The Bachelor‘s final rose ceremony right around the corner, Deadspin’s Drew Magary decided to rank several reality shows in terms of how cool they’d be to win. (The Bachelor comes in last.)
Here is his list of 12, along with some colorful commentary:
1.) Top Chef. Even if you’re one of the forgettable champions of that show, you still get a six-figure cash prize with no strings attached, AND that’s a legit thing to have on a resume. In fact, just going ON Top Chef is probably a bigger career boost for people than winning other reality competitions.
2.) The Amazing Race. You get to travel all over the world AND you win a million bucks.
3.) Survivor. Again, you win a million bucks, although you have to suffer through a lot more crud to get it. I know that’s fun for bragging rights, and pretending you’re a tough guy, but imagine being trapped on an island with a bunch of fame whores for 40 days and NOT winning the money. I’d kill myself.
4.) Project Runway. This doesn’t have the cache it used to, but I think it’s always best to win a reality show that is also a somewhat respected skills competition. People watch The Bachelor to gawk at all the morons and laugh at them. You’re not getting out of that show with your dignity intact.
5.) Chopped. Take it from me! It’s nice to win a reality show that takes only a day to film. By the way, I’d have the original Iron Chef at the top of this list if it were still on, because nobody ever won it. Morimoto could have served his own vomit and still beaten any challenger.
6.) The Voice. Since Idol is now canceled, this is probably the best singing competition to win, even though the contract you have to sign with Universal upon winning is probably some real TLC-level robbery. Also, there’s not much professional credibility to appearing on this show because A) The judges and viewers don’t always have great taste, B) There are no original songs played because that would be horrible, and C) People at home can tell within five seconds if they like you or not. They don’t have to go to your restaurant to figure out that you’re a fraud.
7.) Judge Judy. A small cash settlement AND legal dominion over my former best friend? SCORE.
8.) The Ultimate Fighter. Congrats! Dana White now owns you and will make you fight like a dog.
9.) Shark Tank. Oh hey, Mark Cuban likes your business idea! It’s doomed. You’re gonna take your seed money and then foolishly sink the rest of your savings into it and then go belly up by the end of the year. And then Mark will complain if you tweet about him.
10.) Hell‘s Kitchen. No one cares.
11.) Celebrity Apprentice. You’re already a complete joke if you’re on this.
12.) The Bachelor.
How would you rank them? Click Here to read more.