What The Type of Dog You Own Says About You

Greg Hewitt

Can you tell what someone’s like based on the type of dog they own? Post Grad Problems sure thinks so; here’s their analysis of what the type of dog you have says about you:

Labradors. You are BORRRRRING. There’s like a million different kinds of dogs and you chose the one everyone has. Use your imagination for once.

Great Danes. Great Danes look awesome, and let everyone know that you are a member of the landed gentry and can afford $150 worth of dog food each week. Your dog’s poops will be small pyramids in homage to your family’s history of fox hunting and coal-plant ownership.

Golden Retrievers. Like all Golden Retriever owners, you like the outward appearance that they are extremely smart and friendly dogs, so you’re probably dumb. You will also lose out on at least one hookup opportunity or job promotion due to the presence of dog hair everywhere.

Any sort of hypoallergenic crossbreed. You are the 21st Century version of Victor Frankenstein. You would rather spit in the face of the laws of nature than actually deal with the consequences of your actions.

Bulldogs. They look cool, they are revered as a cool mascot in college football and professional wrestling, and their name acts as a verb for aggressive behavior. This will all belie the fact that you are fat and worthless

Pit Bull mixes. You are a social-justice warrior. Your hobbies include telling people how puppy mills are evil, acting superior to anyone who put thought or money into their dog breed of choice, and ranting about how Denver’s pit bull ban is an ugly legacy of racist laws. Shaving is an afterthought for you.

Spaniels. Your childhood hobbies were exclusively limited to combing your sister’s doll’s hair. They are super sweet, though.

Agree…Disagree?  Click Here to read more.

More from Greg Hewitt

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