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Greg HewittBy Greg Hewitt

Feel free to use any of these or add your own in the comment section.

Happy Halloween…and Trick-or-Treat!


Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms? They’re afraid of flying off the handle

What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone appetit !

Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? His ghoul friend

What’s a monster’s favorite play?  Romeo and Ghouliet

What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?  Bamboo

What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween? Twick or Tweet 

Where do monsters water ski?  On Lake Erie

What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist?   He was repossesed

What does a ghost do to stay safe in a car?   He puts on his sheet belt.Why did the witches cancel their baseball game? — They couldn’t find their bats.

What do monsters turn on in the summer time?  The scare conditioner.

Why is it safe to tell a mummy your secret? It’ll keep it under wraps.

Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?  It had no guts.

What is a scarecrows favorite fruit?   STRAW-berries.

What is the best way to speak to a monster?  From a long distance away!

What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?  Spelling.

What kind of roads do ghosts haunt?  Dead ends.

How do you make a witch itch?   Take away the W

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?   Because he had no BODY to go with.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels

Why don’t ghosts like rain?  It dampens their spirits.

What did the scarecrow say to the kid dressed up as corn?  That costume is a-MAZE-ing.

What candy do you eat on the playground?  Recess pieces.

Why do witches wear name tags?  So they will know which witch is which.

Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?   He was already stuffed.

What kind of monster loves to disco?  The boogieman.

Why do people like vampires so much?  Because they are FANGtastic.

What does a cool witch ride instead of a motorcycle?  A Brrrrrr – oomstick.

How do you make a skeleton laugh?   Tickle its funny bone.





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